Cash me outside games

Cash Me Outside Games: the iOS plague

Ninety-five percent of my aimless internet wandering is viewing memes and chuckling to myself “I get that reference”. The remaining five percent is when I terrify myself with a popular saying that I don’t understand and causes me to have a deep existential crisis. “Cash Me Outside” is an example of this.

Recently the iOS store has been awash with “Cash Me Outside” games riding the waves of downloads. The fear in me grew and so I instinctively downloaded and installed every version of “Cash Me Outside” on the iOS store that I could.

The origins of the expression “Cash Me Outside” come from 13-year old Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli who guested, alongside her mother Barbara Ann, on the US day-time TV show Dr.Phil.

Being British this was the first time I had ever experienced Dr.Phil. What I always assumed was a self-help feel-good day-time TV show was actually a platform for the colossal-prick Phil to earn his fistful of silver coin by exploiting vulnerable people.

The power of the internet made the expression “cash me outside” go viral. Within a week t-shirts, song remixes, bobble-head dolls, and memes were all over the internet plastered with the face of Danielle. The same behaviour Dr.Phil and the crowd of aggresive mothers judged Danielle over society took and made her famous for.

It’s a confusing mess and at the centre of the whirlwind should be a billboard-sized reminder that this is all around a 13-year old girl who is clearly troubled and needs help. A 13-year old girl who just last week punched a passenger on a flight. All of which was caught in footage that would make a TMZ editor’s sudden erection flip their desk over.

iOS developers have also been battling in the thunder-dome of app development over the rights to stamp a claim on “Cash Me Outside”. Currently sitting at the number one slot of the UK free charts is “Cash Me Outside”. Not far behind it is “Cash Me Outside”. Last week “Cash Me Outside” edged further ahead in downloads pushing “Cash Me Outside” aside, having already knocked “Cash Me Outside” off the top spot a days earlier.

I proceeded to download every avaliable “Cash Me Outside” game avaliable and reviewed them. And boy, did I lose faith in humanity.

Run Danielle Run

Three-quarters of the games I played were the same infinite running game (possibly because even Unity themselves provide tutorials on making endless runners). All the games featured the same stupid remix music and differed slightly only in aesthetic. But fundamentally the games were identical.

Where I started really getting angry though was the obvious exploitative game design. As the player runs the landing blocks change at the last moment making the deaths unfair and frequent. Three deaths and a full-screen thirty-second advert appears. It is infuriating.

Alternative designed games existed and followed the same pattern of force-ingesting adverts down the gullets of players. One game hilariously displayed an advert literally every ten seconds. All of the games were obviously carbon copies ready to be slightly tweaked by the developers to fit whatever the current trend is that will generate the most hits.

So why do hard-working developers do this? Surely when any person takes the time to learn how to craft a video game they don’t imagine their future being in quick knock-offs on yesterdays front page news?

The reason is simple; people buy it. “Cash Me Outside” sits the top of the UK iOS free charts and is generating advert money by the second. In a world of people willing to burn money on quick satisfaction being first to market is a powerful thing. Does the game have to be good? No. All it needs is to be a veiled skinner box with a viral-gloss on top.

You shouldn’t play these games. That might seem the easiest answer to prevent more from continually allowing to exist. But actually there is something more effective that you can do.

All the developers of these games leave an app-trail. A track that can be followed back to the days when they released their first game app; the one they put all their time and effort into. Games that demonstrate the developers talents and passion for creating experiences for players. The reason they got into games development to start with.

Download these. Play them. Leave honest reviews. And let developers know that making a money-grabbing game on the exploitation of a vulnerable thirteen year old is not why we play games.

Some other games from the developers of “Cash Me Out” games you can try :-

Jodan Ramzell- Orbit bounce

Jakoncic Teja – Andy’s Coming

Aaron Feliciano – Ninja Star Jump

Trieu Hoang Nguyen – Swam Attack Color

Brandon Bombard – Spaceship Journey Pro