nancy drew ds

What’s (not) hot in the UK charts this week?

The game charts have thrown up a few surprises this year – who’d have seen Crash Bandicoot becoming a surprise summer hit, Persona 5 achieving the series’ first chart topper or FIFA ’18 debuting at #1?

OK, the last one wasn’t a surprise at all, but whilst scouring the charts, it turns out there is a lot happening below the top ten that never makes the news. So it’s time to shine a light on some of the other titles that are (inexplicably) performing well. The game charts don’t include digital or second-hand sales, so what we’re talking about here is brand new over-the-counter purchases:

Guinness World Records: The Videogame (Nintendo DS)

Nancy Drew DS

Topping the Nintendo DS chart last week was Guinness World Records: The Videogame. Currently available for as little as 95p on Amazon‘s marketplace, somewhere out there, people are still picking up brand new copies of this game in an attempt to be the best at shearing a sheep with a stylus. Our very own Jack was involved in the creation of Guinness World Records and he is grateful for every penny this game continues to generate in royalty.

Nancy Drew: The Model Mysteries (Nintendo DS)

Nancy Drew DS

Another staple of the chart is the Nancy Drew series. The Model Mysteries sees players assisting the titular character in attempt to thwart the sabotage of a wedding and “catch more than a bouquet to make this a happily ever after“. Why is it called The Model Mysteries? Why does the box art not match the synopsis of the game whatsoever? Why is 18 year old Nancy Drew portrayed as a 12 year old girl wielding a torch in a well-lit area? All of these questions and more can probably not be answered for the princely sum of £4.99.

I Did It Mum! (Nintendo DS)

Nancy Drew DS

When the Nintendo DS turned 13 years old, it did not want to get a part-time job babysitting your kids. I Did It Mum! features eight picture books that the system will read to your child. The narration can be muted though, so if you do decide that you’re not entirely comfortable with a 13 year old electronic device parenting your child and get off your lazy arse, you can read it yourself. If this option isn’t for you, I hope your darling little one bashes the DS screen until it’s full of dead pixels and then flushes it down the toilet.

Just Sing 2 (Nintendo DS)

Nancy Drew DS

Have you ever wanted to sing along to tinny versions of songs by your favourite artists into the dodgy DS microphone? Apparently a lot of people do because Just Sing 2 continues to be a solid seller. And why wouldn’t you? Just look at those detailed graphics. And lest we forget the storming tracklist of songs from “global stars” like Rihanna (fair enough), Lady Gaga (sure), Cheryl Cole (stretching things a little), Milow (er…), Mando Diao (um…) and more.

Mary Skelter: Nightmare (PS Vita)

Nancy Drew DS

Stumble into the PS Vita chart and you’ll encounter a number of games whose titles were (probably) made using a random word generator. Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana and Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony miss out on the top spot this week behind Mary Skelter: Nightmare. Featuring “a strategic blood-licking transform system and a blood-rubbing system to power up your party”, one can only imagine why the PS Vita never really managed to go mainstream.

God Of War: Ghost of Sparta (PSP)

Nancy Drew DS

If the fact that the PS Vita still has a chart is a shock, then you might need to sit down for this. Topping the PSP chart this week (yes, really) is God Of War: Ghost of Sparta. The fact that the official Amazon screenshot is a photo of the sealed box that has been uploaded immediately suggests demand was not awfully high for the title – but on a sales chart presumably counted up on someone’s fingers, what else would you expect?

All of the software charts are provided by the kind folks at GfK Chart-Track.

Long time Sonic The Hedgehog apologist. Love/hate relationship with Nintendo. Big fan of retro games, hater of modern retro-styled games. General grump and proud of it.