Red Dead 2 announcement about an announcement announced

In a classic tease move, Rockstar games tweeted a date today, sending the rumour mill into action about the exciting news coming next week.

This meta-announcement is likely to be confirmation of the Red Dead Redemption 2 release date being postponed again until the late 21st Century, but let’s spend five minutes contemplating alternative announcements that could be coming our way….

1) New playable character – Sonic

With gaming collaborations and cross-promotions becoming increasingly common, the next logical step to boost both Red Dead 2 and the new Sonic games would be letting players choose the cartoon hedgehog as their cowboy hero. The game’s hunting mechanic would have to be tweaked so players cannot super spin and speed-kill all of the mountain lions. This change in protagonist would give extra emotional impact when family members are in grave danger – ideally if Dr Robotnik were the villain of the piece.

Red Dead 2 announcement

2) New gameplay mode – CowboyBall

Another recent practice, chuck in an unusual sports-flavoured game mode. My preferred for RDR2 would be “CowboyBall” where you have to use the lasso and revolvers to smash your balls into a barn. Extra points available for getting farm animals into the barn from the three-point line.

 

3) New exclusive Legendary Ultimate Collector’s Pro Edition

The announcement might not even be about the core game – Rockstar could take this opportunity to reassure rich bastards that there will be ample opportunities to waste all of their cash on a super exclusive version of the game.

The “Red Dead Redemption 2: Legendary Ultimate Farmhand Edition” includes additional outfits for your Wild West hero, including Gucci sunglasses and Calvin Klein boxer shorts, as well as offering access to the game 15 minutes before everyone else who pre-ordered.

 

4) Standalone zombie-based expansion pack

Nah, actually this one seems to silly and far-fetched.

Red Dead 2 announcement

 

Check back on Thursday 28 September 2017 at 11am ET (3pm GMT) for confirmation of Sonic being added to the game.

 

Which of the suggested announcements are you hoping for?

Who fancies a quick game of CowboyBall?

 

Plays loads of terrible games. Makes websites and videos in my free time. Often spotted hanging around on street corners (capturing virtual locations).