Guy is already queueing for a Nintendo Switch a month before launch

The Nintendo Switch is a pretty neat looking piece of kit for sure. But is it worth sitting outside a Nintendo store for a month of your life? Youtuber CND thinks so.

If I could somehow generate a list of my most frequent sayings I’m pretty sure the expression “I’ll wait til it’s twenty quid” would be in the top three (closely behind “did I eat that already?” and “come back Dad I promise I’ll be a real boy”).

Honestly I haven’t cared about a new game or release in years. Often as I peruse the gaming aisles on my weekly supermarket shop consisting of brandy and cigars I spot a new gaming title and think “oh cool. I’ll wait a few weeks for it drop in price”. Tossing the game to one side like a used flannel.

Maybe I’m just at one end of the cynical gamer spectrum. And without doubt youtuber CND is up the other end of this scale sitting in the quadrant called ‘wetting your pants in excitement at a sniff of Mario‘s dungarees’.

CND has decided to ensure he is the first person in the world to obtain a Nintendo Switch. And he is doing that by standing in line for 30 days outside the Nintendo store in New York. Because New York as we all know is totally not fifteen hours behind Japan.

He’s not alone in his pilgrimage as he has Triforce Johnson with him. Triforce Johnson (I learnt five minutes before writing this) holds the world record for being first in line for more game console launches than anyone else. If anyone knows how to queue, it’s him. And in an emotional display he’s passing the torch of this honour to CND, relegating himself to be number two in line.

Steady on

So CND is going to be standing on the spot outside the Nintendo store for thirty days? That’s pretty intense. Except that’s not really the case. You see when only one video in things get ropier than a tug of war.

“So basically they [Nintendo store] said we can’t start the line. We can’t be sitting out here. It’s just policy. Until they officially declare a time you can line up, you can’t line up”

So there’s no line?

“So we’re just ‘queueing’ right now. To make it official and to make it fair we gotta be out here every single day from the time the store opens to the time the store closes, so we can hold our ‘queue’, so when the start the line, we’ll be the first in line”

So you’re queueing for a line?

“So it’s more like a community thing. It’s seperate from their thing {Nintendo}. This is what we’re doing. Everyone understands we’re the first ones here, we’re here all the time, making sure we have the spot” [sic] “but like I say, we can’t stand on the spot loitering”

And this was about the time when I my smashed my brandy glass to the floor in outrage and began typing my angry letter to the editor over the ludicrousness that this youtuber clearly isn’t queueing for thirty days. He’s going back to a comfortable hotel each night eating giant pizzas for crying out loud.

“please take the pizza from me the grease is burning my hands”

I wanted cold nights freezing on a pavement edge. I wanted angry new yorkers shouting at the youtuber who’s gone slightly insane rocking back and forth singing the theme from Koopa Troopa beach. I wanted Tom Hanks in Castaway style facial hair. I wanted disappointed parents and failing school grades.

But that’s just because I’m just a cynical old gaming git.

Go go community spirit

There is a real risk as well that when the real ‘queue’ starts any old Joe ‘Sonic the Hedgehog‘ Bloggs could steal the first spot whilst CND is having a cheeky Nintendo Wii round the corner. But the ‘community’ will fight back if this happens! They will defend CND‘s honor!

Oh sure, but this is the real world kids. “People are arseholes” I shout at my screen as I tear open another cuban cigar. You’re in NYC! It’s where crazy people are born! Any nutter who is actually first in line is going to be able to stand up against the boos of teenage youtubers. They won’t give two monkeys about snarky youtube videos aimed at him.

But all in all I have to give it to CND.  It’s not a bad ‘gimmick’ at all. As the videos carry on each day they start unwrapping a story about a gamer who is legitimately excited for a new console. And it’s a great excuse to roll out thirty days of content for his youtube channel. CND isn’t stupid either. He’s playing the marketing angle perfectly. He’s had pizza from Ubisoft, invites to Nintendo parties, and plenty of other Youtubers lining up to make an appearance on his channel.

Pikachu I youtube you!

Speaking of youtubers I like to think I know the major players in Youtube gaming world, but holy crap I didn’t know a single name that appeared throughout these videos. If you want to feel out of touch and older than a statue then watch these videos. “Looks here it’s the biggest youtuber nintendo fan out there. Fam is lit up on his channel; it’s Mister Awesome“. At this point I leaned back in my wing-tip chair and wondered if I was out of touch or if it was just the kids who had lost their way.

When I first watched the daily updates the judgemental gamer in me was sharpening his pitching fork. The judgement burnt inside me like a spicy chicken wing. But as the videos progressed I couldn’t help have my icicle heart melt. I found myself admiring these young whippersnappers and chuckling ‘ahhh they’re having fun, let them be’.

I started thinking back to when I used to have fun. Through the cloud of cigar smoke I thought about my time back in the sunny fields playing tag and being first in line to buy the exclusive Nintendo Stick and Hoop game everyone wanted.

Killing them with CND-ness

By day ten CND genuinely comes across as nice excited young man. He even invites some young youtubers to come on his channel and promote their own channels. It’s a nice touch that would even make the hardest gargoyle statue crack a smile.

But don’t get me wrong. You’ll need to strap on your cringe-proof vests for some days. These videos are brimming to the rim with teenagers in onesies making bad meme jokes and referencing pokemon way too often.

But the real flag of cringe is planted on mount awkward in the video entitled ‘Day 12 – My date with Pluto’. In this video mah boy CND goes on a date with a girl called Pluto. We’re taken along on the date much like a third wheel wondering what the hell this has to do with queueing for a Nintendo Switch.

The video culminates in a candid-camera shot as CND cheekily leaves the camera running long enough to catch him having a nice snog in central park. I look forward to the video of the “official first unboxing of the condom!!” he’ll be posting tomorrow. Possibly followed by the “top ten places to pick up a morning after pill” montage.

With ten days left CND is still going and even I’m excited to see whether he actually makes it to be first in line for a Nintendo Switch. And for his sake and his legion of youtuber followers I hope CND will be first in line. It’s inspired me if anything and now I’m proud to announce that I’m hoping to be 856,768th in line when the Switch is down to £150.