Here is what happened at the Nintendo Direct

This Nintendo Direct had some good surprises. It was also an hour long, obviously I’m not going to watch all of it (and neither are you, which is why you’re here) but I will give you a naughty little run down of what happened. Well, what I deem news worthy anyway.

Seriously cold opening

26 Minutes of just the static Nintendo Direct screen, damn Ninty that is cold. Well done for sticking to your guns though.

Reggie tells his underlings they are stupid cunts

We (actually) open with a skit of everyone’s Uncle who works at Nintendo, Reggie Fils-Aime. His bloody employees are useless, they’ve lost this New 3DS, as in the model New, not his recently purchased and even worse then that, is they’ve lost Bill Trinen (true MVP of Nintendo Direct). God, I hope they find him.

Pokemon Sun and Moon

They really gloss over the details here, some story info and some gameplay is shown. Nothing huge, release date is November 18th.

Super Mario Maker is on 3DS

Nintendo Direct

The absolutely brilliant Mario Maker is coming to the 3DS, while it all looks good at first there are some pointless caveats. You can’t search for courses, but the Wii U ones are available to play. You can’t upload the courses to the web that you’ve made on 3DS. You have to share locally or use StreetPass (HA!) which means nobody is going to play your courses, sorry. The Mystery Mushrooms aren’t available either. Oh well, the 100 included courses are good, if they are the same as the Wii U ones anyway. Released December 2nd.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf AKA Greatest of All Time

Wow, they really glossed over this one. Amiibo functionality, didn’t specify what it was. Showed some new Mobile Home/RV type houses which have new villagers in. Teased us with loads of features and said to wait for an Animal Crossing specific Direct later on this year. Little fuckers.

Tank Troopers Announced

This looks good, a multiplayer tank game with a few selectable heroes. The art style is appealing and depending on the heroes you pick for your tank crew, you get different abilities for your tank, could be pretty deep. 6 Player multiplayer, with download play.

No mention of Online, hype deflated.

Zelda 30th Anniversary Celebrations

zelda30

Reggie says “You can play the game that started it all later this year, even if you don’t own a Nintendo console” and I got all excited. Then he says “if you buy the new Nintendo NES Classic“. So he basically said you can play it if you don’t own a Nintendo console, as long as you buy one. Thanks for the information.

There are some cool Amiibo releases for Zelda coming up, they are also doing a Zelda music tour. Some new DLC for Hyrule Warriors Legends is also shown.

Reggie says “I guess playing Mario with Mario has its benefits” and I have no idea what he means.

New 3DS bundle which includes Super Mario 3D Land and a couple of face plates is shown.

New Phoenix Wright

The new game takes place in a mysterious new world, where our titular lawyer has to solve cases in Seance court. Apollo Justice holds it down in the real world. Launches September 8th.

Dragon Quest 7 and 8 Gameplay

Nintendo Direct

This games look slick, I thought we were going to hear a Nintendo man say “Playstation” as he said “Dragon Quest 8 has been seen by players on… many Top 100 lists”. These games look great though, you should check ’em out.

New Yokai Watch and Disney Magical World 2 shown

The new Yokai Watch comes in 2 flavours, Fleshy and Boney, like Red/Blue in Pokemon. I have no idea what this Disney thing is, even though they showed extended gameplay. I’m too old.

Yoshi’s Wooly World is coming to 3DS

This is a good little video, it has a cool stopmotion animation at the start and the gameplay looks good. It includes all the Wii U stages, but has new features and stages of it’s own. Well done, Nintendo. This I like.

Mario Sports Superstars announced

Mario Sports Superstars looks great! It features, Horse Riding, Football, Golf, Tennis and Baseball. They made a point of saying that the games are super fleshed out, using the 11 v 11 football matches as an example. Has online play, single player modes and local multi. Released Spring 2017, will buy.

New side-scrolling Pikmin!

Nintendo Direct

They saved the best until last, this puzzle platformer is really charming.The graphics are really great and the Pikmin play style seems to translate well to 2D. It uses both the screens for an almost portrait orientation, the clip ends with a boss fight. Bravo.

Thats all, folks. Hell of a show. I got no fucking clue how we are going to handle E3, I need a lay down after filtering through just an hour of footage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sack, back and crack of the Last Life Club team. If you're reading a post by me about Capcom assume it is all biased, fraudulent lies.